Where I Was, Where I Am Now.

This blog was set up to chronicle my journey in this never ending battle with weight loss but sometimes other things creep up in our lives that affect our motivation, determination or self esteem.

I spent the majority of my mid twenties up until now overweight. During my mid to late twenties I was a very angry person. I felt terrible about myself, the way I looked and the surroundings I found myself in. I was a stay-at-home mom scrambling to raise three little kids while my marriage and financial stability was crumbling away. I was angry at everyone. I was angry at people who didn't deserve my anger to be directed at them. I spent more time being pissed off at everyone and everything that I lost focus of the person I was and who I wanted my children to be.

Self esteem wasn't in my vocabulary. And when you feel like shit, you act like shit, you treat people like shit and your whole world turns to shit. I hated who I was and what was going on around me. The time I wasted being angry at people and bullying others had my entire family divided.

Then I took hold of things and decided to make changes. With those changes came a new found respect for myself and those around me. When I became happier, my husband became happier. When I became happier, my children were happier. When I became happier, good things started to happen.

I think a part of my happiness came in my weight loss. And since I have really been putting my heart and soul into running, I notice I use it as an outlet for my anger. I run when I'm frustrated with something. I run when I am stressed out. I run when I feel sad. The day my Grandma died I had one of my best runs. It is therapeutic for me. After running I feel so much better and because I use it as an outlet for all my emotions I found that things bother me less. My husband and I communicate more effectively. I care more about things and people around me.

I know there are some people in my life that are going through hard times. They are at their wits end with things and find solace in talking to me about their issues. I listen, attempt to mentor and offer advice if I can. But one thing I'd like to say to those people is when you're feeling stressed out, when that one phone call makes you want to rip your hair out, when all you feel like you want to do is direct your anger at some innocent person because the person you're really mad at isn't there to vent to put on your tennis shoes and run. Run hard. Hit the pavement with all your might. Run fast. Eventually things will turn around and not only will you notice changes in your life you will notice them in your body too!

If you don't believe me, watch this video.