Grandma

It's my grandma's birthday today. I remember the days leading up to her death and having my cell phone glued to my hand. My sister would call or text and each time I heard my phone make a noise I expected the news. My grandma held on for several days longer than anyone expected and it's a testament to her strength.

The day she died I went to the gym and ran. I focused hard on my run and got a PR for that day. My grandma would have been proud of me for losing weight as she struggled with her weight most of her adult life. I remember going to Weight Watcher meetings with her when I was just a young girl.

Today, my sister called me and was extremely emotional. Where I had a very strong bond with my Grandpa, Bethanie was closest to my Grandma. Bethanie was with her the moment she died and has been struggling with all the feelings that go along with losing a loved one and the loss one goes through in the aftermath. My Grandma was so wise in her words yet never really had a voice. It was those rare instances when my Grandma did get a word in that she was eloquent when she spoke and gave some of the best advice any person has ever given me.

In her final days, my Grandma gave my sister a lot of really good advice. Even as she was dying she nurtured my sister in ways my sister had never been nurtured by her before. And now, on her birthday my sister is grappling with what to do with my Grandma's wedding ring that my Grandma wanted her to have and if my father will do the right thing and part with some of her ashes so Bethanie can have a token of my Grandma's memory with her all the time.

For me, it's not about the things that I have that were my grandparents, it's about the memories I have of years spent with them and how every day I try to make my Grandma and Grandpa proud of who I am and what I am doing in my life.

Running and being healthy is just one of the things that I know they would be happy I'm doing.