Hair pieces and Health

I have resided to the fact that it is impossible to look cute at the gym. I don't even bother trying to do anything with myself before I go because I'm an overweight, middle aged, sweaty girl breathing heavy on a treadmill. No one is really paying attention to me anyway. But, some people at the gym obviously think differently.

One day before my workout I stopped into the bathroom/locker room. I'll have you know that this particular place is one that I don't normally venture into because the thought of seeing naked women who parade around an open area just isn't my forte. I usually never have to go to the bathroom while I'm at the gym but this one day I couldn't hold it. As I walk in I see a woman standing before a large full length mirror in a sports bra and biker shorts. She was about 67 years old, very tan to the point she looked like a raisin and had bright white blonde hair tousled up in a loose ponytail atop her head. She looked like a regular at the gym and I sensed she knew her way around the locker room much better than I did. I didn't want to stare at her for any length of time but it was hard not to when I noticed what she was doing in front of the mirror. In her hand she held a brush and in the other hand she held a hairpiece that she was brushing out.

I paused for a moment to look at her and saw that though her hair was half a hot mess on top her head and the rest was being held in her hand, her make-up was done up like she was going to a formal event. Except, not a nice type of make-up where you'd look at her and think she looked nice, it was the kind of make-up that looked like she opened her make-up bag and dumped the contents on her face. I assumed she must be post-workout.

Once I did my business, I exited the bathroom to find the woman attempting to attach the hair piece to her head. I almost wanted to offer my assistance because it appeared as though the thing did not want to go on her head. But, then I was afraid it was some kind of animal and decided I didn't want to get injured before my run by some wild hair piece so I went on my way.

About 20 minutes into my workout, the woman appeared on the gym floor. She was all dolled up with her wig on, make up splattered all over her face, sports bra hoisting her fake boobs up to her chin and her tight biker shorts hugged her skinny legs. I was sure she'd hop on a treadmill and start hauling ass. But, instead, she got on the treadmill, set it to about two miles an hour and walked on it as if she was strutting down the catwalk in Milan.

Now that I've noticed this woman, I see her all the time at the gym and she looks the same way every time. I often wonder if someone should give her a heads up that we are at a gym and not a fashion show.....but then I'd be afraid her hairpiece might attack someone!