Before I dive into this post, I want to praise my dearest friend Raphie for the completion of her first 5k. I am so proud of her and her motivation to get out there and pound the pavement. I know what it feels like to cross the finish line for the first time, and I only wish I would have been there to grab her up in my arms and give her the biggest squeeze a proud friend could give her. Determination and motivation lead to inspiration and action. Keep running, Raph.
I'm creeping up on this 100 lbs weight loss, I think. The scale has a mind of its own but assuming I'm like 13lbs away, there is 87lbs worth of stretched out skin and flab that is wondering where all its filler went. Because of the way my body has morphed, I wear Spanx every.single.day. People often say to me that they can't believe that I wear them all day, every day for well over 12 hours at a time some days and I wonder why they find this so remarkable. The main reason I wear them is because if I don't any shirt I wear makes an indentation where my belly button is and you can see that my belly button is roughly four inches long in an skinny oval shape with skin hanging over it so you really can't see the "button" just the "belly". The Spanx smooth out the tummy area eliminating the dreaded oblong belly button indent and the muffin top. My self consciousness is crazy when it comes to those two things. I don't want to look at it and I am sure no one else wants to look at it either.
Another reason I wear Spanx is because when I run the skin dances all over me. It wiggles to the left and right. Up and down. Up, right, down, left, circles, zig zag....all about. Spanx bind me in and I don't feel that movement. They're a necessity for running. However, when all the skin is all bunched up and squeezed into a set of super control top nylons, the skin gets unhappy. Imagine taking a partially filled water balloon and trying to stuff it into a baby's tube sock. It's not an easy task and though it might fit, it's going to meet with some resistance. Well, when my skin resists the Spanx I get little sores, chaffing, Spanx burns on my hips, under my stomach flab and around my back. These unsightly, often painful, abrasions are reminders to me that one day I will have all this excessive skin removed via a tummy tuck.
I have stopped really talking about having the surgery because I know it's not going to happen this year. Probably not next year either. I will most likely hit my 100lbs weight loss goal and not see a surgeon for the skin issue for years after my milestone. But, the reason I want it done is always marked on my body. I see it in the morning before I go to sleep for the night. I see it before I get into the shower. I dab the blood off it when I strip down out of my Spanx after a rigorous run. And I think about these blemishes going away one day and maybe I will have a body I will be happy to show off without stuffing it into a nude colored binding apparatus day after day.
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